


Like Ashes in His Mouth

by PortoDioVilla



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PortoDioVilla/pseuds/PortoDioVilla
Summary: Orochimaru was Sarutobi's favourite student, but when the time came to pick a Fourth Hokage, Orochimaru was cast aside. What changed? What happened to young Orochimaru after the Second Shinobi War to turn him into such a selfish, twisted man? Find out in this 3 part fic which explores the rise, the fall, and the even more drastic fall or Konoha's black sheep.
Kudos: 8





	Like Ashes in His Mouth

**Author's Note:**

> This is a headcanon companion piece that I wrote for another fic of mine, Anything But An Eternity With Him, which you can find here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25717804/chapters/62446384. What was meant to be a flashback scene turned into a full exploration of Orochimaru's life between the Second and Third Shinobi Wars. In this first chapter I detail Orochimaru's earnest attempts to become a worthy candidate for Fourth Hokage, in the next chapter we will see how everything goes so very, very wrong. Please enjoy :)

Orochimaru closes the door, quietly, and leaves Tsunade to her grief. He has never felt more like a miserable failure than at this moment. Couldn’t protect Dan for Tsunade. Couldn’t stop Hanzo. Couldn’t convince Jiraiya to come back with them. 

_That selfish bastard_ , Orochimaru thinks, bitterly, _He always has to be the hero._

Leaving Orochimaru to console Tsunade as they made their way home through a wartorn Konoha, and for what? For three random Rain orphans? It was selfishness, and narcissism, and Orochimaru really should have expected nothing less from Jiraiya. 

_Maybe I’m just bitter._

Bitter that Jiraiya would, once again, choose someone else over him. Still, Orochimaru can’t blame him, not really. If he had fought better against Hanzo, moved faster, risked more, they might very well have killed the self-proclaimed Dictator of the Land of Rain, and liberated that god-forsaken country. That surely would have satisfied Jiraiya’s saviour complex.

But no, they failed, and that failure was probably going to be immortalized forever in the stupid title Hanzo had bestowed upon them: The Sannin. The Three Ninja. Now whittled down to two. Orochimaru had no idea how he was going to explain that one to Sarutobi-sensei, let alone the fact that Tsunade was thinking of retiring. 

He would do it, however. He always did what had to be done, for his teammates and for the village too. It would be nice if the village would repay him once in a while, you know, maybe by stopping the various rumours about his sexuality (mostly true, to be fair) and his being a monster (perhaps true, but still hurtful). For a genius prodigy, he was not very popular.

_Maybe when I’m Hokage they’ll change their tune._

He lets that thought comfort him somewhat, but in the pouring rain that has followed him since he crossed Konoha’s borders, it is a cold comfort indeed. It isn’t the ubiquitous, ethereal rain of Amegakure, which had been almost pleasant, if a little oppressive at times. Far from it. This rain is the heavy downpour of a Konoha summer, and it is quite literally raining on his parade.

They had won the war, after all. Konoha went home victorious, expanding the borders of Fire Country and rebuking all who would question her right to rule. The streets should have been filled with people celebrating their heroes’ return, but instead they were nearly empty, as everyone huddles inside to avoid the torrent.

Everyone except Orochimaru. Rather than heading home to the warmth of a bed he hasn’t seen in months, he makes his way through the rain to the Hokage’s Tower to report. Orochimaru is tired, exhausted, hasn’t slept properly in months, but nonetheless he endeavors to maintains appearances. Holds his head high, keeps his back straight, doesn’t shiver despite the cold permeating his body. If he’s going to be a monster, he might as well be the kind people respect, after all.

He greets the ANBU outside The Third Hokage’s office and is invited in. Across the room, Sarutobi looks up from a stack of papers, and smiles at him, so genuinely happy to see Orochimaru again. Orochimaru notices that he’s still smoking that infernal pipe, but it would seem the pleasure has faded from the act. Sarutobi seems to have aged ten years in the months since Orochimaru last saw him.

”Welcome home, Orochimaru,” Sarutobi says warmly, standing up from his desk, and walking around to meet his student, “Do you know what they’re calling you three now?”

“Yes, _The Sannin_ ,” Orochimaru hisses with great annoyance, “So stupid, we didn’t even _win,_ all we managed to do was _not die_ . And what kind of name is ‘ _The Sannin?_ ’ That makes us sound like just a group of regular ninja! It's so insulting.”

Hiruzen laughs at Orochimaru’s petulant remark and pulls him in for a hug. He’s so warm, and Orochimaru really needs that at the moment. Hiruzen squeezes him tightly, but then pulls back to look at Orochimaru more carefully.

“Well at the moment you seem like The Ichinin, Orochimaru. Where are your teammates?”

This is the hard part. Orochimaru mentally curses Jiraiya again, and then begins to explain. He starts with Dan, explains the battle, the loss, Tsunade’s grief. Hiruzen is shocked, dismayed. Dan had been positioned to be the next Hokage, and Tsunade after him, now it seemed they were both gone. It’s clear that Orochimaru is the first one to tell him the news, and that makes it hurt all the more. Orochimaru is not suited for this.

Still, there’s more. Tsunade at least came back to the village, heartbroken as she was. Orochimaru relays Jiraiya’s decision to stay behind, to raise the three orphans they had found wandering the road to Konoha. Orochimaru thinks he might understand his reasoning, but he doesn’t try to explain it. Let Jiraiya do that, if he decides to come back. Let him explain to their teacher, to The Third Hokage, why he decided to defect.

Hiruzen, for his part, suddenly looks very, very tired. He leans back on his desk, and is silent for a moment, puffing thoughtfully on his pipe. He looks up, at his favourite student, standing stiffly at attention, and failing to conceal a slight shiver. A thought crosses the Third Hokage’s mind, and he is forced to consider it. 

“You came back, though, Orochimaru,” he says, gently, “I’m sure this war wasn’t without its burdens for you as well, but despite everything you came back.”

_I’m simply alone again. Same as usual._

“Of course, Hokage-sama. Konoha is my home, I live to protect and serve it.”

Sarutobi is impassive, as he eyes Orochimaru. Orochimaru tries not to shift at all, but inwardly he is desperate for his teacher’s approval. 

“You seem cold, Orochimaru-kun. Try this,” Saruobi says mildly, as he hands his pipe to the ninja before him. Orochimaru takes it somewhat reverently, then, putting the mouthpiece to his lips, inhales deeply. It’s immediately too much and he starts coughing and sputtering, much to Sarutobi’s obvious dismay, and Orochimaru’s deep embarrassment. He’s always had a weak constitution, whether it be alcohol, pipe weed, or resisting genjutsu. Jiraiya, for what it’s worth, has always had the opposite.

_Maybe he didn't notice that._

(Lying to himself is one of Orochimaru's greatest abilities)

“Ah, well, you’ll have to warm yourself up some other way then,” Sarutobi says, smiling as he does, “Try your bed, Orochimaru. You've earned it. We can talk more later.”

Orochimaru bows deeply, and then exits the Hokage’s office, waves goodbye to the ANBU guards and begins, at last, to make his way home. On the way, he stops for a pack of cigarettes. Getting home, he realizes he doesn’t have a lighter, and doesn’t have the chakra to produce a flame.

_Figures._

He collapses into bed, and falls into a bitter sleep.

~~~

The next day the rain clears up, and, as expected, the streets fill with celebration, cheering, and parades to welcome home Konoha’s shinobi returning from war. Orochimaru curses his past self for getting an apartment so close to the main square; the sound wakes him up from a slumber that would otherwise have lasted a whole day. Still, it is not befitting of a Konoha Shinobi, not to mention a future Hokage, to complain, and so he rouses himself and gets dressed. 

As he walks through the festivities filling the streets, Orochimaru picks up chatter from the civilians. It seems that Sarutobi has now been cemented as a truly great Hokage for leading his village through this war, in addition to having been a truly great ninja, and there is no talk at all of who might replace him. In fact, in defiance of tradition, the public wants The Third Hokage’s face to be carved into Hokage Rock _before_ his death, to commemorate him as uniquely good.

Overall, the mood in the village is joyous, and Orochimaru even gets a few cheers directed his way as he walks the streets, but still he feels extremely out of place, not knowing how to relax, not feeling at ease in the festivities. Luckily, he spots Tsunade in the crowd, surrounded by villagers, and decides to rescue both her and himself at the same time. She does not protest, and the two stealthily make an exit.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” he says, as the two retreat to a nearby rooftop and watch the celebrations going on below them, “Are you...feeling better now?”

“NOT REMOTELY,” Tsunade bellows, laughing loudly, and taking a swig from an expensive-looking bottle of sake. Orochimaru notices that she is, by now, at 10:30 in the morning, totally wasted.

“Ah,” he says, cursing Jiraiya again, not knowing how to handle this situation, “May I have a sip, Princess Senju?”

“MY BUDDY, _of course you can,_ ” Tsunade says graciously, bowing to Orochimaru and holding out the bottle. Orochimaru surreptitiously removes it from her grasp and takes a swig, before covertly pouring the rest off the side of the building.

Of course he immediately coughs and sputters from the alcohol burning in his throat, prompting Tsunade to laugh even more. 

“Excuse me,” Orochimaru says, shamefully already feeling slightly tipsy, how is that even possible, “You would do well to treat me with more respect, You don't want to make enemies with the next Hokage, you know.”

Tsunade’s eyes widen as Orochimaru says this, and then she bursts out laughing, somehow even louder.

“ _You? HOKAGE?”_ Tsunade roars between fits of laughter, “UM, not to be a rude or anything, Oro-kun, but haven’t you noticed _the vibe???_ Sarutobi’s is going to be Hokage for _a hundred years_ , don’t you know?”

Orochimaru sighs and regrets emptying that bottle of sake; He can literally hear people cheering for the Third Hokage at this very moment. He’s never met a man more beloved, more warmly admired. That warmth...he wishes he could feel it too. He absentmindedly takes out a cigarette, and puts it in backwards before lighting it. 

He coughs and sputters immediately, causing Tsunade to fall to the ground laughing. She gestures for one and Orochimaru provides. 

As she, still on her back, lights and takes a drag from her cigarette, Orochimaru grumbles quietly, “Why can’t I have that too?” as he sourly discards his cigarette over the side of the building.

“You wanna know why?” Tsunade slurs, as she takes a drag from her own cigarette. She looks up at Orochimaru and he nods encouragingly, so she continues.

“They don’t know how to treat you. You’re-” she burps, “You’re fucking _scary_ . ‘N _I_ think that’s _cool as hell,_ but is ain’t up to me, is up to the PEOPLE. Now, Sarubody-Sartu-Sarbu-Sarutobi-sensei on thother and, _he's_ is _charmisatic_ . Jus’ like ol' Grandpa Hashirama. He _charms em._ But that won’t work for you, you know? You’re not a Hashirama _type,_ Oro-kun.”

“Ah,” Orochimaru says, slightly perplexed as he takes in what a totally trashed Tsunade is struggling to say, “So what type am I then?”

“You’re the uh,” Tsunade says, fighting to stay awake, “You’re uh…”

“Go on.”

“You’re,” she says, very quietly, very secretively, “ _the grumpy type._ ”

That, it appears, is enough for Princess Senju. She begins to snore.

Orochimaru rolls his eyes and picks her up to take her home to her bed. This is not his first rodeo, so to speak, although it is the first time he has done so in such broad daylight. He hopes this is not the beginning of a trend, and begins to make his way back to the Senju compound, doing his best to avoid the festivities. He does feel grumpy. 

As he finishes tucking Tsunade in, he hears a knock at the door. He approaches it cautiously, opening it to find Sarutobi standing there.

“Ah, Orochimaru-kun,” Sarutobi remarks fondly, “I’m surprised to see you here. I was just hoping to speak with Tsunade, see how she's doing. Is she here?”

“You may want to wait for her to sober up, sensei,” Orochimaru replies, stepping outside, and closing the door behind him, “She’s...already had quite a day.”

“Already?” Sarutobi says, looking stricken, “My...my goodness...that poor child. She’s resting now, then?”

Orochimaru nods, and so Sarutobi sighs, and sits down on one of the benches lining the Senju compound’s main courtyard. He motions for Orochimaru to join him. Orochimaru obliges, and, taking a place beside Sarutobi, retrieves another cigarette from his jacket. He offers one to his teacher, who accepts willingly.

They smoke in silence for a moment, Orochimaru grimacing and suppressing a cough that threatens to escape anyway. The filters on the cigarettes really help with the harshness, and he even bought the low-tar kind, but he still can barely manage. Sarutobi doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, doesn’t seem to care.

Orochimaru could sit like this forever. 

_Forget stupid Jiraiya and Princess Tsunade. You still have me._

He notices Sarutobi perform a few handseals before taking a long drag on his cigarette and exhaling an impressively large smoke cloud.

“Sensei, was that a jutsu?”

“Haha, indeed it was,” The Third replies with a mischievous grin, “Makes tobacco stronger. Developed it myself to annoy Tobirama-sensei.”

“Ah,” Orochimaru says, catching on that name, “Do you...do you think you could tell me about him? I never knew him well.”

“Hm, I suppose you would have been quite young when he passed,” Sarutobi muses, “But why the sudden interest, Orochimaru-kun?”

“Er, well,” Orochimaru stammers, “I heard that they’re planning on carving your face into the Hokage Rock. It got me thinking, I guess. About the Hokage. I mean, the Hokages in general, the, the other ones, you know.”

Sarutobi is still eyeing him somewhat skeptically, so Orochimaru tries to feign nonchalance and take a drag from his cigarette. This is immediately too much, and he sputters and coughs.

The fucking _look_ Sarutobi gives him each time he coughs is enough to make Orochimaru want to curl up and die. He cannot stand the disappointment. It seems that Hiruzen is no fan of it either, as he speaks up to ease the awkwardness.

“Well, he was my teacher,” The Third Hokage begins, “One of the first to lead a squad of ninja from all different clans. He was an astounding teacher too, extremely perceptive, endlessly patient, and knowledgeable in just about every area of ninja lore there is.”

“Hashirama-sama may have been the one to found Konoha,” he continues, “But it was certainly Tobirama-sensei who made it what it is today. Compared to him, my only accomplishment is this war, and I find it a little difficult to celebrate that. I suppose I will have to do my best to be merry anyway, since the people seem to love it.”

“Did they love Tobirama-sama the same way?” Orochimaru asks abruptly, making Sarutobi’s eyebrows rise in response.

“Ah, well,” Sarutobi says, a little bashfully, “I think they would have, in time, when they came to realize all the good he has done for this village and its people. I suppose, though, it is fair to say that he was never as beloved as Hashirama. He was a kind man, certainly, but it wasn’t always...obvious. It might be more appropriate to say that he was respected by the village, more than loved.”

Orochimaru took this in, along with a whiff of cigarette smoke. 

_Respected, if not loved. That seems doable._

“Tell me, Orochimaru-kun,” The Third Hokage says abruptly, interrupting Orochimaru’s train of thought, “Did I ever teach you about The Will of Fire?”

Orochimaru rolls his eyes, before coughing on his cigarette.

“Sensei, I doubt we ever received a lesson from you that didn’t end in a discussion of the Will of Fire.”

“Ah, of course, of course,” Sarutobi chuckles, “Well, it was Tobirama-sensei who passed his Will of Fire on to me. Someday, in turn, I will pass mine on to my successor. To carry that torch across generations, to bear the burden of the village and everyone in it, that is the responsibility of the Hokage. Do you understand?”

_Carry...burden...responsibility...I get it._

Orochimaru’s eyes narrow with resolve. He nods curtly.

Sarutobi gives him a small, sad smile, and pats his former student on the back.

“Good,” he says, standing to leave “You make me very proud, Orochimaru-kun. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go be seen celebrating.”

With that, The Third Hokage makes his way out of the Senju compound, leaving Orochimaru and a faintly smoking cigarette behind.

Orochimaru puts it out immediately, and as soon as Sarutobi leaves the courtyard starts coughing and hacking up his lungs. As much as he wishes it weren’t true, hiding his weakness from Sarutobi is Orochimaru’s greatest skill.

_But I have to do better. That’s what he was trying to tell me._

He has to get stronger if he’s going to carry the Will of Fire. Has to stop _having_ weakness in the first place. Weakness is not respected. A monster can be respected, however, provided they are a powerful one. To be Hokage, respected by the village, admired by Sarutobi-sensei, it's such a sweet dream. He can almost taste it.

The next couple of years pass by in a blur. Orochimaru begins to devote himself completely to exactly two things: training and missions. In the wake of the war, Konoha is flush with new shinobi contracts, many from foreign countries now disenchanted with their own national shinobi. Orochimaru quickly proves himself to be Konoha’s deadliest weapon, and spends much of his time completing back-to-back S-rank missions, in squads, at first, then as squad leader, and then very quickly completely solo. With the White Fang MIA, there is no shinobi who compares to Orochimaru, in the Leaf or elsewhere.

Missions, however, are not remotely enough. In addition to the them, Orochimaru spends all his free time training, learning and mastering new ninjutsu and improving his kenjutsu. He easily masters all of the Konoha Standard Ninjutsu, and then almost all of the Special Jounin Squad ninjutsu; he is a natural at infiltration and diplomacy, but struggles with genjutsu. A Yamanaka tells him one day that he simply ‘lacks the constitution for it.’ 

He takes a break from training for one month in order to seduce, and then ghost, said Yamanaka. It is immensely satisfying, but he still isn’t great at genjutsu by the end.

Obviously, Orochimaru refuses to allow this weakness to slow him down. He devotes more time to developing his summoning skills through his contract with the Snake Tribe, and in time becomes simultaneously revered and reviled as ‘The Snake Sannin’ for his frequent, creative usage of these summons in battle. They are particularly useful against genjutsu users, since snakes are able to navigate using sound and smell rather than sight. 

His one, true friend, Tsunade, is distantly concerned that Orochimaru is behaving somewhat unhealthily, but she is more burdened by an unshakable survivor’s guilt, and devotes herself in a similarly obsessive way as Orochimaru to developing Konoha’s medic-nin program, as well as improving her tolerance for liquor. She is successful in both pursuits.

Sarutobi recognizes, too, that Orochimaru is working more than is healthy, but Tsunade is the one he is worried about, and he is under pressure from both Danzo and the rest of the Konoha Village council to continue to deploy Orochimaru in order to secure Konoha’s strategic interests. Among the council and mission-givers alike, Orochimaru has become somewhat of a celebrity.

The market for crime responds to The Snake Sannin’s growing reputation for flawless completion of S-Rank missions by providing fewer and fewer. What’s the point in trying to accomplish anything big when the powers that be will simply hire Konoha’s famous Orochimaru and shut you down easily? So the S-Rank missions begin to dry up. It is peacetime, after all, and all the nations are wary of rousing the slumbering Konoha. Orochimaru is kept in reserve, for more important missions, and as a result he has more free time than he knows what to do with.

That, of course, is unacceptable. He expresses his frustration to The Third Hokage who, despite reigning over the most prosperous era in Konoha’s history, has never been busier dealing with the politics of the many factions and clans within Konoha’s borders. Sarutobi proposes he teach a genin squad. Orochimaru flatly refuses. He has no patience for weakness, and that is all that genin are. He wants to get stronger. _Needs_ to get stronger.

So, reluctantly, Sarutobi takes Orochimaru to a hidden part of the Hokage Tower, a dark room, filled with ancient-looking scrolls, invisible if you didn’t know to look for it, and guarded with a plethora of seals the likes of which Orochimaru has never seen before. 

These scrolls, explains the Third Hokage, represent the original research of Tobirama Senju, Konoha’s Nidaime, the Second Hokage. They contain jutsu deemed too dangerous to be known to the public, some half-finished, some bearing only a name and a set of handseals to go with it. Even Sarutobi is unsure of the true extent of the jutsu collected here. He wants Orochimaru to learn them, catalogue them, and determine what can be used, and what must be locked away again.

Orochimaru takes to the new work immediately. He realizes he needs a place to practice these jutsu in secret, and after asking The Third he is provided with his own ‘jutsu laboratory’ in which he can experiment as much as he wants. He spends full days in the laboratory, alone, pouring over scrolls, deciphering what is really just a collection of notes that Tobirama wrote to himself rather than anything approaching genuine instructions.

The task is daunting, but Orochimaru is a genius, a prodigy. He spends his days honing his ninjutsu, keeping his skills sharp, expanding his repertoire, and at night he returns to his laboratory to study scrolls and experiment. He is rarely seen, and those who do seem him are terrified to see an Orochimaru who is somehow even more gaunt, even paler, and with an even crazier look in his eye. One Yamanaka claims he is a ghost, or something, although that label is less sticky than another: 'monster.'

It’s hard to imagine living this way for months at a time, but nonetheless Orochimaru does, and makes significant progress. His first breakthrough comes nearly 20 months after the end of the Second Shinobi War, with a technique Tobirama refers to in his writings as ‘The Shadow Clone Jutsu.’ It’s stupidly chakra intensive, but the result is a perfectly autonomous clone who can carry out arbitrarily complex tasks for an indefinite period of time. After some brief experimentation, Orochimaru realizes that anything the clones learn is transmitted to the user when the clone disappears, effectively letting him be in two places at once. 

It is at this point that Orochimaru’s progress noticeably accelerates. He wastes too much time practicing ninjutsu, so he starts sending a clone to do that for him. He wastes too much time _eating_ , so he sends a clone to pester the Akimichi to teach him a jutsu to be able to eat faster. When that doesn’t work, he takes a cue from his snake summons and develops a jutsu to let him swallow food whole by unhinging his jaw. It is horrific to watch, or it would be, if Orochimaru was ever seen in public.

At this point, he is sleeping only 3-4 hours a day, chain-smoking cigarettes, and spending all of his time alone. The only times he leaves his laboratory are to go on S-rank missions, and to report his progress to The Third Hokage. He considers sending clones to do both of these tasks at one point, but decides the risks outweigh the rewards. That doesn’t stop him from leaving clones in Konoha to continue his research while he’s away. Even with one-quarter of his regular chakra he is still the strongest ninja in Konoha.

Eventually, however, The Third Hokage begins to get seriously concerned, and forces him to start sleeping more, _and_ makes him get regular check-ups with _Tsunade_ , so he really can’t bullshit things. It slows down his progress, and that is unacceptable. 

He pauses his research, briefly, to lead a B-Rank mission with the Ino-Shika-Cho trio; by the end Inoichi has helped him develop a jutsu to let him sleep _faster_ and Shikaku has helped him develop a jutsu to see in the dark. Choza offers to help him learn to eat faster, and after a demonstration of Orochimaru’s “Eat large quantities of food rapidly no jutsu” the Ino-Shika-Cho vows to never partner with him again. That's OK, he got what he was after. Diplomacy, is, after all, but one of many tools in a skilled ninja's repertoire.

With new techniques in hand, and without disrupting his research, he starts gaining weight, and getting more sleep than he ever has, and Tsunade has nothing to criticize, except for Orochimaru’s now devastatingly apparent addiction to nicotine. Sarutobi publicly condemns him for it, but in private he gives him a pipe that once belonged to Tobirama himself. It is built to automatically apply Sarutobi’s “Tobacco Strengthening Jutsu” when in use and it is fucking _deleterious_ to Orochimaru’s health. It goes without saying that he uses it constantly. He is allowed to resume research, and Tsunade really doesn’t have the willpower left to dissuade him otherwise.

Back at his breakneck pace, another breakthrough occurs, and an old jutsu is recovered: The Flying Thunder God Technique. The technique seems fairly redundant in combat- what use is it to teleport to an enemy one has already gotten close enough to mark? Just kill them- but its applications outside of combat are numerous. Orochimaru places seals at the training grounds, the library, his laboratory, the Hokage’s tower, and the grocery store, to name a few, and is able to reduce time spent travelling between locations by 56%. 

He rediscovers and catalogues many other jutsu in time, some useful (a seal that prevents a target from talking about anything the user wants), some less so (a jutsu that envelops the user in a darkness they can’t even see through? Why???) until the remaining scrolls contain mere speculation and theorizing, as opposed to anything he can properly recover. Within these musings, The Second Hokage seemed to be most interested in two subjects in particular: fuinjutsu, and something called ‘Sage Chakra.’

After having written dozens of identical seals for the Flying Thunder God jutsu (an extremely time-consuming task in its own right) Orochimaru has no interest in spending yet more time deciphering the Second Hokage’s ramblings about even more obscure seals. He will revisit that one at a later date, probably. The idea of Sage Chakra, however, is extremely intriguing. He begins to investigate it.

It doesn’t take Orochimaru long to connect the dots. By now he’s realized that the chakra that his summons use is not the same as the elemental chakra that ninja use, nor is it akin to the natural ‘life chakra’ that seems to pervade every living creature. He takes his suspicions to the Third Hokage, who is not 100% able to confirm Orochimaru’s theories, but does agree that they seem theoretically sound.

As it happens, Sarutobi has heard from King Enma that the Snake Tribe with which Orochimaru is so familiar does actually inhabit a physical place in the world, the so-called ‘Ryuuchi Cave.’ It is said that one who has mastered the art of ninjutsu can find further power among the Sages of that cave. Orochimaru begins his search right away. With the help of his many loyal snake summons, and guidance from Tobirama’s writings, it isn’t long before Orochimaru is able to find and enter Ryuuchi Cave. 

Upon doing so, he is subjected to many trials at the hands of the snakes living there, many of which recognize Orochimaru and pledge to aid him in his quest to master this mysterious ‘Sage Chakra.’ A genius, a prodigy, Orochimaru is able to complete the Trials of Ryuuchi Cave without a second thought. Triumphant, he is taken before the White Snake Sage by Lord Manda himself, and presented as the strongest ninja to ever sign the summoning contract of the noble snake tribe. 

The White Snake Sage is unimpressed. She senses a weakness in Orochimaru, frailty, delicateness. He blames the tobacco, and she laughs knowingly. Orochimaru has long since mastered the ninja art of diplomacy, after all. Intrigued and assuaged, she describes Sage Mode to him, speaks of the heights of power he could obtain, beyond any living shinobi, should he succeed in mastering it. Still, she cautions, for one such as him the risks are great, and there is no guarantee of his survival. Is he still so certain that this is destiny?

Orochimaru doesn’t hesitate for a second. The answer was clear to him, has _been_ clear to him, from the very beginning. Wordlessly, he withdraws the precious snake skin he found at his parents’ grave so many years ago, and presents it to the White Snake Sage as a sign of his resolve.

_Take it. Where I’m going there is far greater power._

This, it seems, is satisfactory. 

She strikes him faster than he can react. Before he knows it she’s embedding her fangs in his arm, and an unfamiliar power begins to course through him. It’s chakra, but it isn’t coming from him, it’s coming from this place, from Ryuuchi Cave. It is _awe_ , it is _wonder_ , it is _power._ His body shakes with the sensation, he falls to his knees trying to contain it. This is Sage Chakra, this is the power he has dreamt of everyday for _three_ _years,_ and the power is _his._

He can’t contain it.

Something is badly wrong.

Whatever this chakra is, it’s too much. He feels his skin crawling, changing, as scales begin to sprout along his body. He quickly makes a shadow clone, divides his chakra, but that just accelerates the process, as the clone begins to take in chakra as well. He dispels it with a swipe of his sword, but the process continues. The White Snake Sage looks upon him with pity, rears up to strike again-

He’s gone. Teleports to the Hokage Tower with the Flying Thunder God Jutsu. The overwhelming flow of chakra slows, momentarily, but Orochimaru can already feel it accelerating again, seeming to draw in chakra faster and faster, like a blackhole appearing directly in the middle of a star. He shadowsteps to Sarutobi’s office, stumbles in, falls because his legs are starting to join together to form a snake’s tail. He hears Sarutobi call his name once, a second time. He tries to speak; his tongue is the wrong shape. He coughs and sputters. 

Suddenly, he is outside, he is being carried, moving faster than he thought a ninja could. He breathes; he can smell much more, now, and that’s _wrong_ but he can do it, his tongue flicks out and he smells Tsunade. He hears shouting, frantic, Sarutobi’s voice, Tsunade’s. He opens his eyes- that’s not how eyelids should open- sees Tsunade’s face, tears streaming down. Sees Sarutobi, standing over him, horrified. Sarutobi, begging him to be OK.

For the first time, Orochimaru fails him. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I had initially intended for this to merely be inspiration for my other fic, but the headcanon got too complex and demanded to be unleashed. Now that I've gotten this far, I intend to go back and finish the fic that prompted this one, but after that you can except 2-3 more chapters here. Next chapter Jiraiya comes back and we get some BigSad!Orochimaru.


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